Thirty-Three - Finally Going to Admit I'm Lost

I keep saying things will change. I make a solid promise in my mind that tomorrow will be a new day. And then it's not. I am finally going to admit, I'm lost. Every time I see myself, I'm bigger and bigger. My BMI is probably unbelieveable. I don't just weigh a lot, I'm BIG. I was in denial for a long time, and now that I'm actually "waking up", I feel like there's no way to possibly "get back" alone. Like, now I don't feel in control of just fixing this, fixing me, independently. I was just saying this to a friend. I know it's going to be a long, long road back. I know it will be slow and it will take every ounce of fight and effort and energy to do it, but I don't know HOW. I can only hear so many "You have to eat different" or "You have to go to the gym" statements. I understand what I inevitably have to do to maintain good health. I have no clue how to get from here, where I am today, to that lifestyle.