Thirty-One - Oh Life. Decisions, Decisions

So, of course, after making the decision to go back to school and becoming fully enrolled, I get the opportunity to become employed by the state at SUNY Oswego. Haha. Thank you, life. If I would have gotten this offer four months ago, I would have jumped on it, without any doubts. It is a keyboarding specialist job and the pay starts at $27,744, full-time, with benefits. That is good starting pay for only having an associate's degree for now. But it would require me to send Rowan to preschool/day care full-time, resulting in it costing $560 a month for the place he has to go where he will get his therapy, rather than him only have to go two full days a week at $208 a month. So that is a negative. Another negative is that the keyboarding specialist tier I job caps at about $35,000 (and then about $47,000 at tier II). When I become a teacher I would hope that I would surpass that amount in my career, plus I would be doing something I've always wanted to do. I guess what it comes down to is that I have to ask myself, do I want to jump into the unknown, go through 2-3 more years of school, add up WAY more student loan debt and then hope the market is good enough to land me a nice teaching position when I'm done? Or do I want to be "unselfish" and take the guaranteed income NOW, without adding on any more debt, but with the possibility of reaching a salary cap that leaves us in trouble years from now (who knows what the economy will be like when Rowan goes to college, for example) and/or provides me with job duties that leave me feeling unfulfilled? Working at the college in an office or teaching will offer me similar benefits being a state employee, no matter what state I'm in. Taking a job here in Oswego County as a NYS public employee would mean we would probably stick around the area, since transferring out to a different area would be difficult (leaving the state would be impossible). There really aren't a lot of opportunities for Thane with a degree in Hotel & Restaurant Management around here. Not for what he's looking for at least. So more negatives.

Gah. It sounds like I've got my mind made up, right? I wish it would feel that simple in my head. I think just the thought of "instant gratification" knocking on my door is making me have small second thoughts. But I guess that's normal. It isn't easy to think about walking away from almost doubling our household income (I would start out at close to what Thane makes now after he's been there three years), just to follow a dream that is going to take time. I've never been very good at following real dreams, so I think it's probably time I don't just put on a brave mask, but instead, actually become the word. I can do this and it will pay off in the long run. Just have to keep fighting to get there.